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I can totally understand. If she is still Mormon and you are not, she will always secretly hope that you convert, just like you will always secretly hope she leaves the church. I would think that a comprise between you getting missionary discussions and her reading the CES letter would be even. This blog accommodates some frank admissions about that which is less than wonderful about LDS. It has been closed.
As soon as she becomes dissatisfied, she will turn face and educate the OP about just how wrong it would be for her to stay with him. She will probably feel persecuted and attacked if you try. Are you going to keep the sabbath holy as a family, or is he going to take the kids out for pizza after church, leaving you home to observe alone. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. What upsets me most is that he didn't realize it was my birthday, or a big one and then that his reaction was to get defensive about his plans rather than offer an alternative for celebrating with me. So if we only have a few hours of time to spend together one night a week, sometimes we will have plans to watch a movie but then things quickly turn into sex and before we know it the night is over. Maybe it was because I was so young when I made the choice, maybe it was because I was the oldest child in an extremely active family with parents that just expected me to be a shining example to the younger kids. Eventually it turned into a sour argument.